


Darling Only You Can Ease My Mind

by xLoveMx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Dancing, F/M, Spoilers for episode 111, Widojest - Freeform, and also a hug, they deserve a second waltz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26711239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: “What are these?” She asked over her shoulder, watching as Caleb’s smile softened a little. “Zemnian folk songs, mostly.”
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 20
Kudos: 168





	Darling Only You Can Ease My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely self indulgent. Also loosely based on some wonderful art that made me SOFT.
> 
> https://kesego.tumblr.com/post/630370146107670528/as-promised-i-colored-it-enjoy

Jester was cold.

She really shouldn’t be, she was aware of that, and yet there was little she could do about it. Ever since they had returned to the tower, everyone had been sort of lost in their own thoughts. They had all changed out of their wet clothes and dried off, and yet it still felt like the cold of the rain was seeping through her bones, making her shiver.

Fjord had quietly asked Caduceus to mediate with him and they had both slinked off, while Yasha had held on to Beau’s hand and accompanied her to her room with Veth being the only one to go down to the kitchen to get some food, or maybe just a distraction of some sort.

Jester had caught Caleb’s eye across the room for a moment, and while it had looked like he wanted to say something, they had both stayed silent, with Jester ignoring the way her chest had tightened.

She wanted everyone to be alright, even if she herself wasn’t, and the fact that she couldn’t seem to help her friends made it even worse. So she had curled up in front of the crackling fireplace in her room, arms wrapped around herself and _Tusk Love_ in her lap, abandoned in an almost desperate attempt to distract herself.

Could they have prevented this from happening? If they had tried harder, and hadn’t gotten so wrapped up in other things, could they have brought Molly back? Or would they have brought someone back that had no memories of who they were and the adventures they had gone through together?  
The sound of something scraping against metal brought her back and Jester glanced down at the small door which had been installed on the ground next to the fireplace. It took her a moment to realize that there was probably a cat down there, trying to get in, but she hadn’t called for one, had she? The time between leaving Molly’s gravesite and coming here was a little hazy, so Jester bent down to open the latch, and was promptly greeted with the familiar sight of an orange cat poking its head out.

“Frumpkin!” The familiar instantly jumped into her lap, rubbing his head against Jester’s hand before settling down, purring. “Why aren’t you with Caleb?” Of course there was no answer, and yet Jester couldn’t help but wonder. Caleb usually never let Frumpkin wander far unless it was necessary and the fact that he had come to find her either meant that something was wrong, or that Caleb had sent him to make sure Jester had company.

She instantly felt her stomach flutter at the thought of Caleb worrying about her, even if he wasn’t quite able to articulate it.

“We should probably go check on him, yeah?” She muttered, scratching the cat’s ears before scooping him up in her arms and heading for the door. Holding on tightly she began levitating up a floor, opening the iris with an “ _Auf!_. It almost made her giggle, because it sounded so vastly different from when Caleb said it. It sounded much softer when he spoke and Jester always felt the urge to ask him to teach her some Zemnian, but it was never the right time. Either they were running from something or fighting an imposter God on an island full of shards from different planes, or Jester was reminded that Astrid spoke Zemnian, too, and that this was probably Caleb’s and her thing.

Ignoring the way her chest tightened at that thought, Jester waited until her feet had touched the ground before closing the iris again and finding Caleb’s door. He hadn’t shown his room to them, and with how excited she had been about her own and the rest of the tower, Jester hadn’t even realized that they had all seen each other’s rooms, except for Caleb’s.

_Does he not want us to see it?_

Holding Frumpkin with one arm, Jester used her free hand to knock on the door, trying to ignore the ever so slightly unpleasant feeling in her stomach. What if he wasn’t in his room? She hadn’t even thought to check the library or the kitchen, or that room he said could be anything they wanted it to be.

“Caleb?” She called, her voice echoing off the walls of the tower, while Frumpkin snuggled against her chest. “Do you know if he’s in there?” She muttered, which was answered with a “ _Meow_!” that could have literally meant anything. Jester sighed, having half a mind to turn around and go looking for Caleb somewhere else, when she heard footsteps approach and a moment later the door was opened just enough for Caleb to peek through.

“Jester? Everything okay?” Opening the door a little wider, Jester could see that he had changed into some casual clothes, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and his hair pulled into a loose ponytail. It occurred to her that she could have woken him up, and suddenly she felt bad for disturbing him.

“Yeah I was just...Frumpkin came to see me and I just wanted to make sure...” _...that you’re okay._ The cat purred again, snuggling closer, and Jester could see a soft smile forming on Caleb’s lips.

“Good boy,” he then nodded, reaching out to pet him as Jester watched, trying to ignore the way her stomach fluttered again. “Is everything okay?”

She found herself nodding as she drew in a shaky breath. “Yeah, I was just...I just wanted to see if you were okay,” She then finally managed, “It was...a long day.” It felt like at least a week had passed since that dinner with Trent and they barely had any time to catch up or even ask him how he was doing. What had happened with Molly, or whoever was inhabiting his body, was just another thing on their plate of things that kept piling up.

“I wish there was an easy answer to that,” Caleb replied, opening the door a little wider. “Would you like to come in?” Jester could feel her heart stumbling ever so slightly as she nodded, her eyes catching sight of the room that lay behind the door as Caleb stepped aside.  
It was simple, with shelves of books that lined the walls and a fireplace, much like there was in each of their rooms, and a desk in front of a stained glass window that showed a family with their backs turned to the viewer, a man and a woman with a little boy between them, looking out across green fields.

“It’s not much, but it’s something,” He smiled as he closed the door, and Jester tore her eyes away from the window and focused them on him.

“Because you forget everything around you whenever you read anything anyway,” She nodded, matching his smile. “Thank you...for sending Frumpkin to check up on me,” The cat had been the one to shake her from her thoughts and Jester was glad about it. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk about Molly, and whatever they were going to do next, yet, but she was aware that she probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep if she had kept turning those thoughts over and over in her head.

Bending down to place Frumpkin on the floor, she scratched his ears one last time, her eyes catching sight of something else in the corner of the room. It was a music player like her mother owned one as well and Jester quickly made her way over, looking through the available songs. She remembered always wanting to listen to the various songs when she was still a child, especially whenever her mother was too busy to sing her to sleep.

“What are these?” She asked over her shoulder, watching as Caleb’s smile softened a little.   
“Zemnian folk songs, mostly.” He then replied, and Jester found herself nodding. It made sense, she didn’t really recognize any of the words, and yet she seemed to be magically drawn to them. Feeling her stomach flutter again she bit her lip as she noticed Caleb stepping closer.

“Any songs to waltz to?” The question hung in the air for a moment, and Jester was sure that he’d be able to hear the way her heart was beating loudly against her ribcage. She wasn’t even sure why she had asked, especially since he had made it clear that he didn’t want to dance with her even though she had offered.

Jester held her breath while Caleb had fully stepped up next to her now, his arm brushing against hers as he reached out to go through the records for what seemed like an eternity, before pulling one out. “This could work,” He muttered, and her heart stumbled as he placed it on the music player. The song that began to play was soft and reminiscent of the one they had danced to all the way back in Hupperdook. To Jester it almost felt like a lifetime ago.

Since then her entire view on Caleb, and how she acted around him, had changed. She hadn’t imagined this though, right? The way he looked at her sometimes, and how he went out of his way to make sure that she was okay and how all she needed to say was the word and suddenly there’d be illusions and spells catering to her specific interests. The thing was: Jester didn’t know a whole lot about love unless it came from the books she read, and while those were nice, she knew they weren’t the be and end all.

Caleb made her feel warm though, and whenever he smiled, she could feel her heart stumble just a bit, like it had to remind itself to work before beating so fast that she could barely catch her breath.

“ _Fräulein Lavorre_?” His hand was outstretched as he bowed ever so slightly, and the music, which had picked up a little now, jolted Jester back into reality. She could feel the blush rising to her cheeks as she took the hand that was offered and found herself pulled against him. He was much more skilled and elegant than she had given him credit for, but then again, he had also been drunk the last time they had done this. This was miles and miles from that dirty tavern in Hupperdook though, and they both knew that the world out there was scarier than either of them could have ever imagined, and yet none of that seemed to be able to touch them now. Not in this tower that Caleb had specifically crafted to protect his friends, the people he cared about, and if anyone had ever worried about his loyalties, then Jester wanted to pull them along and forcefully show them every room in this tower to make them see exactly that.

Caleb’s arm came to wrap around her waist as he spun them around to the music and Jester went with it, getting slightly dizzy, but not being able to hold back a giggle that escaped her lips. “Look how far we’ve come,” She muttered eventually as the song came to a close, but Caleb didn’t let go. Their rhythm slowed down just a little until they were mainly shuffling from one foot to another, and Jester could feel her heart beating faster again as she rested her head against Caleb’s chest.

He gathered her even closer, and for a moment that seemed to be all there existed in this world. Caleb and her, holding on to each other, swaying along to the soft melody of a song Jester was sure she would remember for the rest of her life. Part of her didn’t want to let go, because he was warm and felt like home, and that was something Jester wanted to hold on to, but the second song was fading out slowly and Caleb was the one who eventually shifted, his eyes finding Jester’s in the dim light of the fire place.

“Come on blueberry, I’ll walk you back to your room.” Jester felt her stomach flutter at the use of the nickname and, in a fit of courage, intertwined her fingers with his before he could let go fully.

There was no hesitation however, Caleb didn’t miss a beat as he opened the door, glancing back over his shoulder to find his familiar. “Come on buddy, let’s go,” Frumpkin followed them, rubbing against Jester’s legs as he slinked through them while they walked.

“Oh, wait, let me!” She nodded, pulling him closer to the iris before muttering “ _Auf_!” and feeling a little proud of herself as she looked back at Caleb and was met with a smile while they floated down.

The closer they came to her room, however, the more Jester didn’t want to let go. Caleb’s hand was warm and comforting and she only found herself holding on more tightly. “Caleb?” She eventually whispered, glancing up to meet his eyes. “Do you think that everything’s going to be okay?” It was a loaded question, especially with everything they had found out today, and no idea in which direction this was going to take them, and yet everything seemed a little less terrifying now that Caleb’s hand was in his.

“Mhm...I don’t know.” He confessed, and Jester didn’t even think before she opened the door, pulling him into her room. “But...I think that we’ve found ourselves in a few precarious situations, and managed to get out of all of them so far, Jester where are we going?”

She could feel her heart stumbling again as she pulled him through the art studio and into her bedroom. 

“Can you stay?” She knew it was a lot to ask, and this was vastly different than simply sleeping next to each other in the dome, shoulders and arms brushing against each other because there was simply not enough room, and yet Jester found that she didn’t want to be alone tonight, and that Caleb was the one person she wanted by her side.

“Jester...” There was that look in his eyes, one that she knew all too well, where he wanted to say that this probably wasn’t a good idea, for whatever reason, but there was also a softness there that told Jester that he wouldn’t be able to say no. It had a warmth spreading through her chest as she slipped under the covers, all the while never letting go of his hand.

Caleb went willingly, and Jester found a comforting heat radiating off his body as she settled in, her head resting on his chest.

It almost seemed like they fit perfectly like this, and she briefly wondered why they hadn’t done this before. It was warm and comfortable and when Caleb chuckled, Jester lifted her head ever so slightly to find Frumpkin curled up at the foot of the bed.

“He seems comfortable,” She whispered, leaning back, her eyes catching sight of the mural above the bed, the soft sounds of Nicodranas drifting by her ear.

“He always is when he’s around you,” Caleb returned, and Jester found herself pressing closer to him almost on instinct.

“Yeah?” His arms were wrapping around her and it felt as if she had to remind herself to breathe. This was the closest they had been in a long time and it was enough to make her heart stumble again.

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb’s voice was soft as he spoke, “We should get some rest,” For a moment Jester was afraid that he was going to leave and return to his own room, but then she felt his lips press against her temple, and her cheeks began to heat up. “ _Gute Nacht, Jester_.”

“ _Gute Nacht, Caleb.”_ She attempted, giggling ever so slightly because it didn’t sound like she got the pronunciation right.

_Maybe tomorrow,_ Jester thought as she snuggled closer, the movement of Caleb’s hands drawing patterns on her back lulling her to sleep, _Tomorrow I’ll try again._


End file.
